It's been awhile!

I just came to the realization that it's been since July that I've posted anything here! Whoops on my part!
So here's where the story has gone since the last post...

The baby thing...
We unfortunately didn't have any success with trying to get pregnant. I was on fertility drugs for three months. These were the drugs that had very high success rates and should have fixed my problem without any trouble. Hmm.... don't need to say much more regarding what I think of those! My doctor told me after the third failed attempt, that she had done all she could for me and that I needed to see their fertility specialist if I wanted to continue. I had a hard time not thinking about how much more money that would cost. James and I talked about it a lot and decided maybe it wasn't the right time and stop the fertility treatments.

The house thing...
Well, we did try to buy a house. We were under contract for a 5 bedroom, 2 bath, 2000 sq. ft house on 1/3 of an acre in Windsor for over 6 weeks. Unfortunately the house was a short sale. October 30th marked the end of the 30 business days the seller's lender had to finish their end of the short sale and also, at that time, the last day we could completely be under contract and still get the $8,000 tax credit. October 30th came and went with the seller only managing to stop communicating with us. James and I decided that we both felt if we had to push and shove the deal through, it wasn't meant to be. We terminated our contract. Today, November 13th, we finally heard back that the seller was ready to go through with everything. Too bad for them we decided to take an anniversary vacation earlier this week with a portion of the money we had saved for the down payment! We both walked away from the deal with a peace that we were doing the right thing, even after today's phone call.

So what does this all mean for now?
Well to answer that question you have to first understand my personality better. I have an addiction to immediate gratification. Funny right? Too bad I'm serious! I am constantly busy, to the point that I drive my poor husband nuts. He gets really upset when I have to officially schedule in time for him. I can understand why.... So, even when I'm constantly busy, I still have to be involved in at least one project that will have immediate, or rapid, results. For example, going to school is going to get me where I want to be career wise but it doesn't even come close to counted towards the immediate gratification need. When I don't have any, I tend to start sinking into a depressed state. I hate being in that state, hate, hate, hate, hate it. It kills me and it kills my immediate family. So currently, I'm struggling. With nothing working out the "right" way, I feel like I and my life are sinking into a black hole. If I can keep my mind on other things, I'm ok. When I don't have anything else to dwell on.... I'm in trouble.

I think it's time to lift my eyes up and see what He has in mind, 'cause my plans aren't working out so well.

~Andrea